A Lust Hypothesis
Author’s Note: This post is written from a Christian worldview and many of the perspectives and opinions shared will attempt to reflect that.
Like the vast majority of church-going men (and probably women but I’m not privy to those conversations so I’m not going to assume), I struggle with lust, which is manifested through pornography and masturbation. The biggest gripe I have with how lust is handled within church communities is that it appears to be an individual battle. Some people express indifference. Some people struggle, give up, and give in. Others stick to it and fight but often merely appear to spin their tires. There are a select few who manage to succeed but you rarely hear about their success stories because this redemption is a product of failure and we the church have become too prideful to describe in explicit terms how God delivered us in a battle we cannot fight on our own.
Recently, I have been struck with a fundamental question: what is lust? And secondary questions: Is it different for each individual? Is lust a symptom but not the underlying disease? How does this apply to me and how can I conquer lust? These questions were sparked by after succumbing to lust after a relatively long period of time. From a Christian worldview, lust merely being a manifestation of a biological imperative to reproduce struck me as odd. Married Christian men frequently struggle with lust despite having a sexual partner. (Again, I can’t speak to the feminine perspective because I’m a dude. I’m sure my logic is lacking due to the missed perspective.) At that I moment I decided to experiment with the idea that lust is a symptom and not a disease in order to hopefully shed new light on a sin that I constantly fight.
Lust manifests itself through many avenues in our society both legal — one-night stands, masturbation, and pornography — and illegal — prostitution, sexual harassment, and sexual assault (Note: I’m from the U.S. where prostitution is currently illegal). There is a very disturbing common thread between all of these sexual activities: the exertion of power, typically unilateral (one-night stands sometimes being the exception). Powers that people don’t consider. A one-night stand from a Christian worldview is a bad judgment decision. I would argue that the ability to exhibit bad decision making without consequence is power in a non-conventional sense. People exert their economic power to purchase someone to do what they want. It is unusual for individuals to think about the soft power associated with these actions because they are too concerned with the act of gratification itself. That could be partaking in or avoiding the act of illicit gratification according to your worldview. I’m here to argue that we need to look below the surface of lust and evaluate the actions in which we partake. We should endeavor to find commonalities between lust-centric actions and then reflect on what those commonalities reveal about ourselves.
In my case, and I assume this true for many others, my working hypothesis is that struggling with the inadequacy of my own power is the root cause of my struggles with lust. This probably sounds pretty silly and exactly what happens when someone decides to psychoanalyze their own behavior. Reader, let me tell you, you probably are absolutely correct. As I mentioned in “Altered State,” I regularly see a psychiatrist and it’s something I’ll discuss in the future. You know, when I’m not on vacation embarking on frightening levels of self-reflection. From a Christian perspective, inadequacy with one’s own power is a strange, incorrect position. I believe that our power is fundamentally inadequate and that’s why we need an omnipotent God in order achieve pretty much anything. So what is required of someone in my position to turn the tide? Faith? Humility? I don’t really have the answer to this question. If I did, I probably wouldn’t have this problem.
Well, that was sufficiently dark and uncomfortable for everybody. Unfortunately, growth can be dark and uncomfortable and we have to tackle those challenges head on. Anyways before I wrap up, I want to reframe one particular Bible story with the assumption my own current working hypothesis on lust is inexplicably correct:
David and Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11): Most of the contemporary sermons I’ve heard on this story focus on David being in the wrong place at the wrong time. David stays at the palace during a time “when kings go off to war.” I’m not here to dispute the idea that David should have been on the battlefield. I’m here to ask questions about David’s mindset since he stayed behind. Why didn’t David go off to war? Was he injured? Was he very ill? It is entirely possible that David was incapable of participating in war in some way or that he could participate but his generals were exercising caution. Israel was very well established as a regional power at the time this story takes place so there was no need to risk the king’s health if he was less than one hundred percent. But that may have caused him to feel inadequate because he was cooped up in the castle at a time “when kings go off to war.” So he took a walk outside on the roof, saw something he shouldn’t have and acted on it. Inaccurate? Maybe, but this is a thought experiment. I’m gunning for a plausible explanation not necessarily the correct one.
As with most personal problems, a period of self-reflection would go a long way towards producing the fruits of self-improvement. Lust is no different. It can certainly be uncomfortable diving into the motivations and core principles behind personal behavior but it’s valuable and important. As with most articles in Countersteer, I write with the hope that I enable someone to become a better version of themselves by attempting to present ideas in a different light. I don’t always get things right, which should be clear by the topic of this article. But I’m trying to endeavor on this journey of self-exploration so that I can do my part in glorifying my Lord and Savior. I’m sure not everyone who reads this is a Christian so some portion of this post may be completely foreign to you. Thanks for reading! I’d be happy to answer any questions in the comments! Regardless of your faith, I hope you all find a way to be the best version of yourself.